Why cu_CUM_bers Are Better Than Men

• the average cucumber is at least seven inches long

• cucumbers stay hard for a week

• a cucumber won't tell you size doesn't count

• cucumbers don't get too excited

• a cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety

• cucumbers are easy to pick up

• you can fondle cucumbers in a supermarket
  ... and you know how firm it is before you take it home

• you only eat cucumbers when you feel like it

• no matter how you slice it, you can always have your cuke and eat it too

• cucumbers can get away any weekend

• with a cucumber you can get a single room
  ... and you won't have to check in as "Mrs." Cucumber

• you can go to movie with a cucumber
  ... and see the movie

• a cucumber won't drag you to a John Wayne Film Festival

• a cucumber won't ask "Am I the first?"

• cucumbers don't care if you are a virgin

• cucumbers won't write your name and number on the men's room wall

• cucumbers don't have sex hangups

• cucumbers won't make you wear kinky clothes or go to bed with your boots on

• cucumbers aren't into leathers and chains, talking dirty, or swinging with fruits and nuts

• you can have as many cucumbers as you can handle

• cucumbers never need a round of applause

• cucumbers won't ask:

  Am I the best?

  How was it?

  Did you come? How many times?

• a cucumber will never make a scene because there are other cucumbers in the refrigerator

• a cucumber won't mind hiding in the refrigerator when your mother comes over

• no matter what age group you are in, you can always get a fresh cucumber

• cucumbers can stay up all night, and you won't have to sleep in the wet spot

• cucumbers can't count to "10"

• you always know where YOUR cucumber has been

• cucumbers never expect you to have little cucumbers

• a cucumber won't say "Let's keep trying until we have a boy."

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This page created and maintained by: Kuah Wee Khai, khai@earthling.net Copyright © 1996