The definitions of words associated with life.....

degree -: what enables a person to get along without the use of his/her intelligence.
lecture -: a process by which a professor's notes are passed to students without necessarily passing through the brains of either.
professor -: someone whose job is to tell students how to solve the problems of life which he himself tried to avoid by becoming a professor.
wisdom -: the comb life gives you after you've lost all your hair.
originality -: undetected plagiarism.
advice -: something we test out on others to see if it really works.
truth -: what you get from a politican who has given up all hope of becoming a prome minister.
worry -: interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
heretic -: someone who disagrees with you on something that neither of you know anything about.
hard work -: an accumulation of easy things that should have been done last week.
boss -: the person at the office who is late when you are early and early when you're late.
jury -: twelve persons chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.
hero -: a person who behaved as if he was immortal just before he died.
loser -: an innocent bystander who gets killed after a battle by an unexpected unexploded shell and then has his name spelled wrongly in the newspaper.
pedestrian -: there are two types: the quick and the dead.
mixed emotion -: watching your mother-in-law drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.
road map -: a large piece of paper that tells you everything that you need to know except how to fold it up.

... life can make you so pessimistic! ... :)