From New York: it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Monday, March 27, 1995.

From the home office in Sioux City, Iowa ...

TOP TEN SIGNS YOUR LIFEGUARD IS NUTS

[Originally broadcast 6/27/94]

10. Instead of a whistle, uses a tuba

9. Can't say the word "buoy" without laughing hysterically

8. You see him stuffing his trunks with jellyfish

7. Sits with back to the ocean

6. Just married a C.P.R. dummy

5. The gold crown and the flowing velvet cape

4. Sees a guy drowning and says, "Sorry, pal -- I just ate lunch, so I've got to wait half an hour"

3. Breakfast, lunch and dinner -- chlorine

2. She keeps breaking into David Hasselhoff's house

1. He's wearing nothing but a whistle

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